I get this. I really do. But “I” deserve good too!! Damn it! I’m the one running everything, I’m the one staying positive while being kicked down year after year after year! Yes, I always put the kids before myself and I always will. But “I” deserve good too! Fuck everyone who doesn’t see that “I” deserve to be loved too❤️🙏🏼

I want him to be a better man but only if that involves me… I guess that’s not real love. I guess I fell out of love with him. Or maybe I never really loved him? I don’t know anymore. I was in love with who he could become. I was in love with a version of him that never came to fruition. Hmmmm… well, I still know how I deserve to be loved. Maybe someone will step up to the plate. Probably not and I’m ok with that. But just being honest, I don’t wish him the best. I hope he suffers the pain I have endured. And I hold resentment and I won’t forgive him. I know me. I will move on but I will never forgive him. I was the drive behind all this, I was by his side for all this… fuck him for using me. Hope he gets paid back. Hope I reap all the favors!!❤️

Disney World was a blast and even better than I imagined! I kicked ass in both the 10K and Half Marathon👍🏼🏃🏽‍♀️. Ran both nonstop. Felt sooo wonderful. I can’t even explain the peace I felt being there with my sister and niece and my baby girl (8 years old but always my baby). Without my ex it was actually so enjoyable. He tends to ruin things so it was easy for me to see the end is near. But omg, Disney is so magical. When I’m back to fulltime work, I’ll be going every year maybe a couple times a year. There’s nothing like it to forget about ur worries and ur strife… 🎶 😁

We leave Tuesday for Disney! Doing the 2 course challenge which is 10K one day then half-marathon the next! I’m so excited! This was going to be a family trip but football interfered 🙄 for my son and ex-husband soooo my sister and her 13 year old daughter r coming instead! We r going to have a blast! My niece has never been and my sister only one time but doesn’t remember much. 6 night stay and 5 park days, park hopper, going to be amazing. This is a well needed trip. And I feel wonderful about my runs 🏃🏽‍♀️💪🏼❤️

So when the narcissist admits that we are their fuel, that means they can’t exist without us. You hear this??? They need us! They r the weak ones. The pussies. They hide from life, the lowest scum. Hahaha! They have no thought or feeling that is their own. They use ours. I then beg the question, why would anyone ever boast about being a Narcissist? Lmfao!! A failure bragging about their failures?!? We empaths r the light in this world. See him for who he is. A lonely ashamed piece of hollow shit sitting in a dark room with no new (or real) material💩. Repeating the same shit over and over and over again! Yes, I’m calling you out!

Not sure if I mentioned this but I updated the final settlement papers with everything we agreed to the day we sat with MY attorney. Hoping they get it back to me soon so we can move forward with this divorce. I will forever hold this against him and he is a failure in my eyes forever. All it takes is love men!! It’s fucking easy! God, you men are such pussies!!

He found an apartment, he just nonchalantly told me he was taking the kids by it today, to check it out. So I’m like ok. I was out running at the track, which I crushed 5 miles at a 10 minute mile pace!!! Anyway, they get home and my daughter is talking about how “their” toilet is so cool. And I asked, “their” toilet? She said yes. So it turns out he’s renting the basement of one of the football moms?!? If u read my September 1st blog titled “Maybe I’m Wrong…”, this is the lady I was referring to! No joke! She lives around the corner from Mrs. Stupid, the one he cheated on me with! Can this situation get anymore bizarre?!? You would think I’m making this up but this is the truth. What a weirdo this man is. And I found out that my son has been over to his apartment several other times. And this is the first I’m hearing of it. I’m telling you this town is so weird. Guess he belongs in that neighborhood. I mean why would I ever think he would do something right?!? At this point, just get out. My God, what else?!? Check out my blog dated September 1st… I scare myself with my intuition🤷‍♀️